Strategies for Easing Separation Anxiety

Comment by April Lorrie on June 2, 2009 at 8:35am

As a childcare provider I have found that the best method of easing separation anxiety for both the child and the parent is for me to collect them from home and deliver them back. I used to have to almost push some parents out the door, and the longer they lingered and tried top console their small person the worse it got, with a flow on affect through the rest of the children. Now I have no tears, or clinging from either side and most often the children are waiting at their door looking for me each morning.
It seems to me that parents dislike the feeling of leaving their child, and children don't like the feeling of being left......so this simple act of picking them up turns the tables....from the child's perspective, they are going with me and leaving Mum or Dad at home. From the parent's prespective, I've taken their child, they didn't leave them. I make sure there is adequate time for kisses and goodbyes, then we're off to pick up the next child......as for going home, there isn't the dragging the small people out kicking and screaming because they aren't finished playing yet.....I clap my hands and say 5mins and everyone knows that they have 5mins til we all hop in thje car to go home, no tears or objections.....for me and my famililes, this system works a treat! And so that the parents don't lose touch with what is happening at day care they all come for afternoon tea on Fridays and spend 30mins to an hour playing with their children at daycare, and enjoy some fellowship with the other parents.......it's our answer to Friday arvo drinks with colleagues, but with juice and cookies and friends.

Comment by Jan Zivkow on June 12, 2009 at 11:16pm

April, we have two fluffy friendly cats in my FDC home, and I've found them to be a wonderful distraction when the time comes for Mum or Dad to leave them in my care. I carry the little one, encourage them to say/wave goodbye and then take them to the laundry where the cat are just waking up. It nearly always works!!!

Jan Z

Comment by April Lorrie on June 14, 2009 at 8:33pm

Jan, two fluffy kitties would most certainly soothe little nerves!

Comment by Andy on September 30, 2009 at 2:18pm

I encourage/give the option to my new enrolments to drop in and spend time eg an hour/1/2 hour randomly in the period leading up to the start date to familiarise themselves with the environment/myself and the other children. Some families really appreciate this. And yes, animals can really break the ice/upset cycle: my FDC children from last year set up a fishtank in the room, and the littlies love to feed them and it is a wonderful distraction. However, while distractions can work, it is not always guaranteed, and I have found truly and actively empathising with the children and parents feelings especially through reflecting their feelings when communicating eg I can see you are feeling really sad about leaving Mummy...etc etc' that the unsettled sypmtoms of clingingness, tears etc are over very quickly with a marked reduction in duration each day and to date - (touching wood here) the most unsettled child to have come into care hasn't lasted longer than a week! I also have open door/open telephone line/email policy for parents. With one particular family this includes little updates throughout their child's day including photos of them playing happily/art work etc which they really appreciated. And lalso - on enrolment - give the families a comprehensive questionnaire to fill out - optional but preferable - about their little ones so that their care routines etc can be as similar to their home routine as possible and ask for family photos to be brought in (suitable for laminating) to add to our Family Treasures wall. The kids especially love this - generates many wonderful conversations about their families over meal times (the wall is beside their activity/meal tables)

Comment by karen burgess on August 3, 2010 at 9:31pm

I find - spend time with your child at the centre of family care provider and discover the thing the child likes the most when there. During the tranistion period spend time with the child as they enjoy the toy or activity. Wait until the child has settle in before letting them know you need to go. If they protest you continue to wait and play until the child is ready for you to go. I do this with my daughters and I find a softer approach works better for my children and I. This is instead of the dropping them off - watching them cry and crying myself in the front seat of the car.

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