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I am not sure if Family Day Care is right for my child
I have an 18 month old boy who is an awesome child but certainly full of beans. He is has been in family day care for almost 8 months now and I have to say I havent had a great experience. It seems like he is always in trouble for things I thought were age appropriate behaviours. The carer is always telling me he runs wild all day and I do not see this behaviour at home. Would he be better in a larger day care centre with more structure and carers, is family day care right for him?
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Rachel on
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Your carer is probably wanting to have an open relationship with you and talk to you about her concerns regarding your son's behaviour.
Many behaviours age age appropriate but that does not mean we should tolerate them! We guide the children's behaviour so that it is more appropriate and socially acceptable.
Why not try talking to your carer regaring your concerns?
Cheers
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Permalink Reply by Bonnie on
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Hi Nicky
I am not sure how many kids of your son's age there are at your family day carer but you'll probably find that in centre based care he'll have more kids his own age to play with. This will help you learn whether or not his behaviour is normal, which I suspect it probably is! More exposure to kids his own age may also give him more of an outlet for his energy and because centres have larger play areas including outdoor spaces any boisterous play he enjoys will have much less of an impact!
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Permalink Reply by liz on -
Could he possibly benefit from another carer? Maybe she doesn't know how to handle him? When I first went to FDC with my then 10.5 month old she cried (ofcourse) and the carer said she couldn't look after her!
Carers differer greatly just like us mums and he might be better under another roof. If you contact the FDC office and explain they might have a mum that he is better suited to. maybe then if you are still getting reports try out a centre.
The other alternative would be to take him to a centre one day a week and see how he goes? How many days does he go to FDC?
I do agree with Nicky, a centre would provide kids his own age and more equipment to use his energy up on.
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Permalink Reply by Nicky on
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Thanks so much for your advice. I will definetely have a chat with the carer and see if we can work through things. He is so easy to handle at home, I do have a lot of room for him to move but he is an easy child in his own environment. I dont have any other family with young kids etc so his interaction with other children is restricted to day care and the occasional mothers group catch up. This makes it difficult for me to address issues he may have interacting with other children. I know that kids are normally better behaved when in the care of others, doesnt seem like that for my gorgeous boy. Thanks again everyone...
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Permalink Reply by Melanie on
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Obviously the choice of child care for your baby is a very personal thing.
After investigating Family Day Care, I personally chose a child care centre for a number of reasons.
I have heard reports of good experiences with Family Day Care, but for me there is comfort in the stable and controlled surroundings, in the interaction with so many children, and of course, the carers themselves.
That said, it did take me 3 tries to find a day care centre I felt comfortable with. Some of them are just awful.
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Permalink Reply by natashenka_66 on
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yes, you need to try lots of options!
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Permalink Reply by Rebekah Paraskevas on
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Hello, I operated my own family day care centre for a number of years until my children went off to school, I then purchased a long day care centre as my children no longer needed me at home during the day - however I love being around children and always want to offer the children within my care exactly the same dedication as what I offer my own children.
In my personal opinion, I would prefer my own children to be placed in FDC due to the smaller number of children at the home at one time- but only if I was 100% comfortable with the carer. In saying this, I have set my centre up to run very much like a FDC home with small groups of children of varying ages with one carer that move around the various activities throughout the day. This system works very well at my centre and we find that our children do not display challenging behaviours very often. There may be a centre within your region with a similar set up? I know a lot of carers in FDC that do not have the passion for chidlren that I do and when we would all get together for play dates, you can see which carers are in control of not only the children but also of their nown emotions and which one's are not.
Try speaking with the FDC group for advice - if no luck perhaps try LDC for 1 or 2 days a week and see if there are any changes in your sons behaviour. generally speaking children fall into 3 categories (FDC suited children, LDC suited children and children that suffer too much separation anxiety to be cared for by non family members) You can not force a child to like where they are cared for, however with a strong carer that focuses solely on the children it makes it more likeable for the child. Most little boys have a challenging side to them and obviousely your little boy has figured out how to challenge his carer (probably not due to spite, but more because she may not have the skill to challenge him back) perhaps he is bored, I have seen this occur to a few children in the past where by, once bored their brains try to stimulate themselves - thus sometimes the child may seem uncontrollable, but when you put out an activity that sparks their interest and they snap back to reality.
As I suggested, just have a look around at your options and you may be surprised. If you would like any more advise on this matter please feel free to call me on 08 95278231 during business hours at the centre.
Good luck
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Permalink Reply by christiane on -
i still would not look at a centre before 3years.
Family environment is necessary. Family day care has 4 aging from baies to 4 just like a 4 headed family with various ages.
Please let those children have som basic fun and dont structure them they are individuals there is plenty time for that. Think of the children and remember your own childhood, what is important?
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Permalink Reply by Slayer on -
Its hard to answer. So much is at stake if the advice is wrong you know.
Are there any options to change the carer? It might not be a thing related to structure or lack of structure.
When your child is at home there are probably certain things the child is used to playing with. They develop a routine of games and activities and learn to entertain themselves with the resources at hand. When you change this environment some children have not grown the skills yet to improvise with unfamiliar resources.
At the point of learning new skills the child is either encouraged or cut off by the distress. Somewhere in time your child must accept and learn the skills, but sadly not at this carers home and possibly not with your child's personality and related age.
Raising children one needs to be dynamic and able to improvise themselves. Children will learn this skill from its influences and a structured environment certainly does not teach improvisation skills.
Its a catch 22 situation. One place has structure but lots of things to improvise with and the other has less structure and nothing to improvise with. Dont get me wrong, structure is imperative to raising children, some go overboard with things IMO and children
Possible look for a compromise that is dynamic with structure and plenty of resources.
Children like the unexpected results in complex things and try to decipher the chaos before them. Its part of our instincts to make stuff up and find new ideas and ways of approaching problems. This is evolution in process and our job as parents is to guide this learning towards healthy things. Children will be inventing the new future in years to come and we need our children to be able to think out of the box while living inside it.
Structure vs liberty
There is no competition, they are both admirable qualities we should hold high in our values when raising the next generation.
:D.
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